Last September when I realized my job would be ending in genetics and that it was likely that God was calling me to full-time ministry, I panicked…. and then started praying.
I was listening to Pandora radio at work one day, in the middle of all the decision making, and a song by Casting Crowns came up. It’s not a song I’ve ever really liked, so I was preparing to skip it but I’d skipped one too many songs and I was stuck listening to it.
“Somewhere between my heart and my hands
Somewhere between my faith and my plans
Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves…
Somewhere in the middle You’ll find me
Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control?
Fearless warriors in a picket fence, reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end -and we are caught in the middle.
With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His- or are we caught in the middle?”
As I listened to this song I thought, “This is me. I’m caught between who I’ve always been and who God is calling me to be. I’m claiming to have faith in a God who can do anything, but hanging on to the security fence I’ve built around me. I want to surrender to God- but I still want control.”
January 16th I will leave on a new journey. God has very distinctly led me to go and live in a small Navajo community in Rough Rock, AZ for the next 8 months. I’m still not entirely sure what I will be doing, but I’m really excited to learn more about the people, history and culture of the Navajo.
The scripture I hang on to each day is a familiar one to many:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6
As I learn to surrender to God and give him all control to lead my life, I pray you will continue to do the same. There is a peace here that really does go beyond my understanding.
I’ve started a page with prayer requests, but today will you pray specifically for the young adult ministry I’m leaving behind? They have become dear friends and they are gifted in many ways to lead the group on their own. Pray that they will have direction, inspiration and passion to continue in fellowship together and to reach others with the good news of God’s love.